Dating: What's the Point?

To me, dating is an essential part of building relationships. I see dating as a great way to meet new people and essentially create new friendships and potential romantic, committed, relationships. I disagree with the statement that today's form of dating is "practice for divorce" because not all people practice this prevelant irresponsible form of dating. Yes, it is definitely true that dating has changed and today's culture considers a random "hook-up" as a more efficient way to meet someone than to have an intelligent conversation' but, some young people date respectfully of themselves and of others. When individuals are participating in countless random hook-ups and never take the time to develop real relationships, than I can see where the instability and inconsistancy could lead to a future divorce. However, dating- as in going out with a person and having real conversation and interaction, is a good way to practice monogomy. Dating one person at a time and seeing how the relationship grows or fizzles not only can help one get to know another, but also help to get to know oneself.

Gender Roles in Relationships

Reading Andy’s article about gender roles in relationships and proposals made me stop and think about my feelings on tradition in marriage. I have always admired a traditional wedding proposal where a man sets up a special night full of surprises for his girlfriend and ends it by getting down on one knee, showing her the beautiful ring, and asking her to be his wife. However, I never thought of the pressures and anxieties that the couple might be faced with in this type of proposal. If a couple never discusses marriage before the proposal (1) how is the man supposed to know that the woman will say yes and (2) how would a woman know what she is saying yes or no to if the topic of marriage had never been discussed between the two. I still like the idea of a proposal being a surprise in the moment, but I believe marriage should definitely be discussed prior to any engagement plans. As for the pressures for a man to be the one to propose in the traditional relationship, I appreciate it and look forward to one day taking a man’s last name as my own. I’ve never seen a problem with this tradition, but I understand the feminists out there who want to take control of such a huge event that happens in many people’s lives. My parents’ proposal wasn’t necessarily traditional or romantic, however their marriage is. My dad simply asked my mom if she wanted to go pick out a wedding ring and could not have been more excited. As for their marriage, my mom enjoys doing a lot of the cooking and cleaning while my dad works, but my dad does a lot of cooking and cleaning on the weekends. Their relationship and responsibilities of the family are very balanced. Neither of them are dominant over the other- they make decisions together and work as a team which is something that I respect very much.

America the Beautiful

Before watching “America the Beautiful” I always perceived the modeling industry as glamorous and beautiful. Although I was aware that models often struggle with eating disorders and problems with their body image because of the demands of the industry, I still pictured the tall skinny girl with a pretty face as an icon of beauty. As the story of Gerren Taylor unfolded and I was able to get an inside scoop on the life of a successful model, I realized that the image of beauty being portrayed constantly in the media is unhealthy and unrealistic. Society has been brain washed by the media to believe that the only beautiful women are 5’11” and 120 lbs with perfect skin and never have a hair out of place. This false image of beauty is damaging to the self-esteem of women who could never look like a fashion model without harming themselves. I wish America would start to portray the true beauty in women of all shapes and sizes so more people would be happy with who they are instead of trying to be or look like someone else.

Becoming Who I Am

Since VHS calss has begun and I have been introduced to a new perspective on human sexuality, I have aslo been posed with the question, "Who am I?". Class descussions and personal reflection have helped me realize that throughout my life, there have been times where I have tried to be someone that I am not. There have been several transitional periods in my life, and the challenges that these changes have faced me with often caused me to lose myself. Although I have not fully discoveread all that I am, and I probably never fully will, I do know the things that I value in myself that I hope to never lose sight of. In the words of Parker Palmer, "Most of us arrive at a sense of self and vocation only after a long journey through alien lands. But this journey bears no resemblance to the trouble-free "travel packages" sold by the tourism industry. It is more akin to the ancient tradition of pilgrimage -- "a transformative journey to a sacred center" full of hardships, darkness, and peril.4" I agree with this excerpt in the sense that we must live all aspects of life, including hardships and turmoil, in order to truly find ourrselves. However, it is also important to acknowledge all the joyful things in life and be thankful for all the things we are blessed with as well because everbody goes through ups and downs. Life is a balancing act, but I always try to count my blessings instead of troubles... deep thoughts.