Gender Roles in Relationships

Reading Andy’s article about gender roles in relationships and proposals made me stop and think about my feelings on tradition in marriage. I have always admired a traditional wedding proposal where a man sets up a special night full of surprises for his girlfriend and ends it by getting down on one knee, showing her the beautiful ring, and asking her to be his wife. However, I never thought of the pressures and anxieties that the couple might be faced with in this type of proposal. If a couple never discusses marriage before the proposal (1) how is the man supposed to know that the woman will say yes and (2) how would a woman know what she is saying yes or no to if the topic of marriage had never been discussed between the two. I still like the idea of a proposal being a surprise in the moment, but I believe marriage should definitely be discussed prior to any engagement plans. As for the pressures for a man to be the one to propose in the traditional relationship, I appreciate it and look forward to one day taking a man’s last name as my own. I’ve never seen a problem with this tradition, but I understand the feminists out there who want to take control of such a huge event that happens in many people’s lives. My parents’ proposal wasn’t necessarily traditional or romantic, however their marriage is. My dad simply asked my mom if she wanted to go pick out a wedding ring and could not have been more excited. As for their marriage, my mom enjoys doing a lot of the cooking and cleaning while my dad works, but my dad does a lot of cooking and cleaning on the weekends. Their relationship and responsibilities of the family are very balanced. Neither of them are dominant over the other- they make decisions together and work as a team which is something that I respect very much.